Beyond Two Weeks: How Paternity Leave Can Help Build a Better Vision of Masculinity
By Alex Lloyd Hunter, Co-founder of The Dad Shift
When we launched The Dad Shift in September 2024 by putting baby slings on statues across London and Edinburgh, we hoped it might generate some coverage for our campaign. What we didn't expect was the flood of messages from fathers and non-birthing parents telling us their stories – stories of being forced back to work when their babies were barely a week old, of missing those precious early moments, of feeling caught between financial necessity and the deep desire to be present for their families.
The pattern in these messages was striking. Time and again, fathers described the same impossible choice: be there for your newborn and struggling partner, or keep your family financially afloat. It's a choice that reveals something fundamental about how our society views masculinity – that fathers should be providers first, caregivers second. That building a close bond with your children is essential for mothers, but a nice-to-have for fathers.
This narrative is part of a much bigger crisis. The UK's paternity leave – just two weeks paid at less than half the minimum wage, and nothing if you’re self employed – doesn't just fail individual families. It reinforces toxic ideas about what it means to be a man in the 21st century. And across the world, we're seeing young men increasingly drawn to even more extreme versions of masculinity that frame emotion as weakness, anything other than the pursuit of money and power as failure, and the push for gender equality as a zero-sum game where men inevitably lose.
But what if there was a different story we could tell? What if, instead of seeing gender equality as a threat to masculinity, we could show how it makes life better for men as well as women?
This is where fatherhood – and policies like paternity leave – are a key part of a bigger picture. Active, engaged fatherhood offers a completely different vision of masculinity: one that's deeply fulfilling, benefits others as well as yourself, and is entirely compatible with gender equality.
Think about what good fatherhood actually requires. It demands emotional intelligence – the ability to read your child's needs and respond with empathy and patience. It requires vulnerability – being willing to show love, fear, joy, and sometimes uncertainty. It involves deep partnership with your co-parent, recognising that your success and happiness as parents are intertwined, not in competition. And, of course, it’s the pinnacle of many traits that are seen as traditionally masculine - dependability, resilience, protection.
In other words, good fatherhood embodies many of the things that the likes of Andrew Tate reject. And where his vision promises money, power and dominance over women as its trophies, what does active fatherhood offer in return? Belonging, connection, and the freedom to truly experience one of the richest parts of the human experience: the deep love of your child.
Those aren’t just the teary-eyed musings of a sleep-deprived dad: there’s real scientific evidence behind this. Studies consistently show that men who are a bigger part of their children’s lives live longer, have better mental health, report being happier, and are less likely to get divorced. And crucially, kids themselves benefit too. Children with more involved fathers grow up happier, do better in school, and have better cognitive development.
And here's the kicker: supporting fathers to be more involved isn’t just good for them and their children – it's one of the most effective ways to advance gender equality too.
The "motherhood penalty" is now the single biggest driver of the gender pay gap, accounting for up to 75% of wage inequality between men and women. Our bad paternity leave is part of a system of forces that push couples into traditional breadwinner-dad, homemaker-mum roles – whether that's what they want or not.
But countries that offer proper paternity leave see real progress on gender equality. Those offering six weeks or more have a 4% lower gender wage gap and a 3.7% lower gap in workforce participation between men and women. In Sweden, studies found that for each month of parental leave taken by fathers, maternal earnings increased by 7%.
This isn't about taking opportunities away from men to give them to women. It's about creating a system where both parents can thrive – where fathers can be present and connected to their children from day one, and where mothers aren't automatically forced to sideline their careers to look after their children alone.
The Dad Shift’s immediate goal is to fix the UK’s woeful paternity leave. But we also see the active fatherhood that we’re encouraging as a pillar in a broader effort to project a more positive vision of modern masculinity. The government's parental leave review, starting this summer, represents a once-in-a-generation opportunity to win change. But it's about more than just policy – it's a chance to demonstrate a different way of approaching gender politics. If we can win better paternity leave, we'll have shown that progress on gender equality doesn't have to be a battle between men and women. We'll have sent a message that society recognises the value of active fatherhood and sees it as a role with status to which young men can aspire. And we'll have given thousands of fathers the time they need to build the deep bonds that make them not just better dads, but happier men too - and that, ultimately, is good for all of us.
If you would like to support us in that fight, we’d love you to join us on the first ever DadStrike for better paternity leave on 11th June. Find out more and signup ut at dadstrike.com
About Alex Lloyd Hunter
Alex is co-founder of The Dad Shift, a new group bringing together men, dads and other parents to campaign for better paternity leave in the UK. He's spent his career campaigning and fundraising with charities and the Labour Party, working on issues including domestic abuse, assisted dying and climate change.